Day 30–nablopomo

It’s the last day of nablopomo and I’ve been absent since 11/17.

I am totally fine with that.

Why? Because blogging is what you make of it. For me it means I’m likely just living in the moments and not thinking about writing. Or more likely–thinking about the writing and not posting as is typically the case with me. Either way, I’m calling it a success because I’ve done more posts this month than I have all year, so that’s saying something. A win, for sure.

Here’s what I’ve been up to:

  1. I’ve joined a gym. I’m digging it. It’s so hard, but makes me feel so good. Especially after I get over each session’s soreness, which means it’s time to get back in there again. I’m sore around muscles in my ribs that I didn’t even know existed. Maybe they didn’t which is why they are sore. It has to be good to working these parts of my body. It feels good anyway. I also took a velo (spin) class which was a huge physical and mental hurdle. I tore the muscles around my left sacroiliac joint 10 years ago (last) January doing spinning. It took a long time to diagnose and an even longer time to “recover” with various treatments (spinal injections and physical therapies). I still have chronic issues running the gamut from nothing to soreness, to physical pain, to nerve pain running the full length of my left leg; restless legs at night drive me nuts. The best thing for it (and me) is continual movement. Getting back on the bike is huge for me. I love the mental release it gives me, although now I have to constantly focus on form, not unlike when I’m running. Plus I sweat my ass off because it’s a hard aerobic workout.
  2. Pies baked and consumed: 3 (plus one apple tart)
  3. Bowls of tofu nabe made and consumed: I’ve lost count, but likely somewhere around 8.
  4. I took down the Halloween decorations, but left up the orange lights. That’s fall, right? My neighbors with the christmas lights up may beg to differ. I differ with how they maintain their yard (they don’t) so I’m gonna call it even.
  5. I taught someone how to sew improvisational quilt blocks. I talked to my best friend from high school about how to do the sashing on her first quilt. These things warm my heart.
  6. I signed up for an individual membership for the Modern Quilt Guild. When asked if I had any “special talents” to share with guild members I checked “yes” at first, then changed it to “no.” This broke my heart a little.
  7. I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of korean skin care. I regret nothing.
  8. I started making quilt blocks for a new christmas quilt. Like I need that. humpf.
  9. It was 65-70 degrees for the high up until about 4 days ago. It was lovely and we’ve hiked and hiked. It’s now back to 50’s for the high. Still can’t complain though. We were spoiled this fall.
  10. Prince Harry got engaged! Contemplating taking off work for the wedding if it will be televised. I am that person. Also does anyone have cable and want to host?
  11. I may have a name for my new business? I’ve said that before. These things are tough. More later.
  12. Being a perfectionist is hard. See #11.
  13. I got my hair cut today. I love haircut day.
  14. How many times is too many times to watch the Great British Baking Show on Netflix? #askingforafriend
  15. Same for Terrace House. And Terrace House Aloha State.
  16. I just can’t take the number of cases of sexual harassment/misconduct/abuse reported in the news. Too many to hyperlink. Our current reality as a nation is disturbing on so many levels.
  17. Number of rounds of Settlers of Catan played: 4 (or 5).
  18. I’ve started thinking about Christmas. And my love of twinkle lights. And how to get more in my life. Also, peppermint hand soap.
  19. I bought new boots over the internet (2 pair!) post thanksgiving. Seems so indulgent. But considering my other pair is nearly 11 years old. What an excruciating decision-making process. I’ll try them on this weekend. Fingers crossed.
  20. We might be catching a cold.

Happy Nablopomo ya’ll. Thanks for following. xoxo E

gym pep talk

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Hypnotized

She’s my season and my reasons,

She’s my Summer,

She’s my Winter,

She’s my Spring.

I haven’t watched American Idol for a full in season in I don’t know how long. Likely since about season 2 or 3. Because of the type of quilting I do it can take me a bit to get “in the groove” and when I am in it I don’t want to leave. As a result, I rarely have time to quilt during the week after I have worked a full day +/- ran/cooked dinner/walked the dog/ate dinner/watched two episodes of Parks and Rec., etc. I go to bed relatively early, except on the weekends.

But last week I started watching the American Idol auditions. The talent that appears on the show seems to get better each year. Playing the guitar/piano/accordion is the rule, rather than the exception. But this week. MAN, this week. I saw a young adult that blew.my.mind. I can’t get his voice out of my head.

If I were a gambler, I would bet on him to win. In the mean time, I’ll be tuning in each week to listen.

Ladies and gentleman–your NEXT American Idol.

And for a full version of what he sang on the audition:

 

Needy

DSC_0451I so need a finish. Do you ever get like this?

DSC_0441Too many projects started, planned, deadlined (I realize that probably isn’t even a word, yet there it is, and it’s real to me), and committed to. Wants and needs. Pure creativity and compromise. Piles and bins. Full design walls.

DSC_0439

DSC_0444DSC_0445DSC_0443I just. need. a finish. (and some gumption).

DSC_0442

It must be Summer.

Catching Up

ScreenShot

It has been too long, way too long, since I visited this space. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to blog. Perhaps it is because I have been super-busy, or at least busy enough, shifting the way I think, and work, and live. Perhaps it was a lack of gumption.

Amongst other things I’ve spent the last several months of 2012 contemplating how I spend my time. I decided as part of the new year to start living more intentionally. I am not a big New Year’s resolution type of person however I do contemplate a “word” of the year and try to apply it in multiple areas of my life. Last year’s word was “embrace” and so I took in stride all that life was throwing at me. Turning 40, learning and accepting physical limitations (while being surprised at myself about the new things I discovered I was able to do–hello running), accepting schedules and the lack thereof, and embracing the creative blocks (there were many) and moments (which were sporadic).

Continue reading

On paralysis and changing perspectives

I’ve been struggling this summer. There, I said it.

I’ve had a difficult time doing anything that I considered “productive.” The definition of which I set for myself. Sometimes I am paralyzed by my own thoughts. My own rules. My own limitations. My own  lists.

Up until this last year, I controlled my own actions by some pretty rigid deadlines and schedules. Some were self-imposed, others not. I thought I had recovered from that publishing experience. Thought I had ridden myself of the burden of being controlled by the daily schedule (which was due at 8 AM no less).

But instead, in the last year and a half I have done the complete opposite. No deadlines. No schedules. No pressure. And here’s what I have learned–without them I have no productivity. Or at least no sense of productivity.

This is not to say that I haven’t been doing stuff. I have. I planted a garden. And have worked in the yard. And I painted the bathroom. And I took some vacations.  And I STARTED RUNNING!!!!

But here’s the thing…I have largely not quilted. Or blogged. I keep tossing the words around in my head that I am associating with this, this, issue. Paralysis keeps popping up. But really it isn’t paralysis. I have ideas. Lots of ideas. Maybe TOO MANY, in fact. Maybe that is partly the problem. But the other word that I really think is the issue is gumption.

So. What do I do with it? Here’s what I have decided. OWN IT. Own this slower pace. Own the summer. Own my thoughts. Own my issues. Own my battle with perfection. Own myself.

And if you own these things, you may be rewarded.

For instance. Today I turned my cutting table 90 degrees. Just one quarter turn and it has given me a new perspective. That and I started P90x today with the husband. And while I can barely lift my arms to type at the keyboard (that is a different kind of paralysis) I have made a small change.

And here I sit, typing a blog post. Not a long one, but not an insignificant one either, and with that, perhaps the cycle has been broken.

Only time will tell.