I’ve had a difficult time doing anything that I considered “productive.” The definition of which I set for myself. Sometimes I am paralyzed by my own thoughts. My own rules. My own limitations. My own lists.
Up until this last year, I controlled my own actions by some pretty rigid deadlines and schedules. Some were self-imposed, others not. I thought I had recovered from that publishing experience. Thought I had ridden myself of the burden of being controlled by the daily schedule (which was due at 8 AM no less).
But instead, in the last year and a half I have done the complete opposite. No deadlines. No schedules. No pressure. And here’s what I have learned–without them I have no productivity. Or at least no sense of productivity.
But here’s the thing…I have largely not quilted. Or blogged. I keep tossing the words around in my head that I am associating with this, this, issue. Paralysis keeps popping up. But really it isn’t paralysis. I have ideas. Lots of ideas. Maybe TOO MANY, in fact. Maybe that is partly the problem. But the other word that I really think is the issue is gumption.
And if you own these things, you may be rewarded.
For instance. Today I turned my cutting table 90 degrees. Just one quarter turn and it has given me a new perspective. That and I started P90x today with the husband. And while I can barely lift my arms to type at the keyboard (that is a different kind of paralysis) I have made a small change.
Only time will tell.