The Reformer

November 4, 2017.

In January of this year I set a “get curious” physical intention with my One Little Word: try a ballet, barre , or running/group class. The words then were specific, but the action didn’t necessarily need to be. Today (11 months later) I made good on my promise.


Meet the Reformer. What looks like a medieval torture device is actually used for a type of pilates instruction. Based upon my first class, this should be fun. I hope it helps me get stronger and works to properly align my chronically misaligned body. Hopefully this was the first of what will be many steps. I’m thinking it would also be a good winter activity. It’s close to home and located in a beautiful new studio.


Hip, hip (psoas, sciatic nerve, sacroiliac joint, transverse abdominus, scapula, sternum) hooray!


It is so dark in the mornings. It’s hard to get up. I find myself torn between sleeping in and getting to work later, but then getting home later, or getting up and coming home earlier. I am controlled by the light, the zeitgebers, or “time givers”. Soon, likely it won’t make a difference, with the time change. It will likely be dark at both times. Or will it? I can never remember what happens when we switch the clocks. Fall back. All I know it sends me into a tailspin. Where I try to mentally outwit myself by saying “If I can just make it to the solstice, then the light will start to change again.” It is my flip side.

The seasonal change sends me into a different sort of funk. I recognize that this is my pattern. I went to graduate school in northern Idaho. This Florida girl wasn’t used to the sun going down at 4 in the afternoon. It made me so sleepy. Don’t get me started on the cold. I counteracted by getting a membership to the local tanning salon. The warmth felt so good on my skin. I was likely the only college student in Moscow not working on my spring break tan.

As part of establishing my One Little Word intentions in January of this year, I committed to  the following:

“Learn a better way to cope with the things that unbalance you…changes in the daylight associated with the time change (autumn).”

Now is the time to act.


Do you see what I see? If you look closely, you can see. See those two little sprouts? They are a sign. A sign that with time, and gentleness, and nurturing, things will eventually be ok. And a little sunshine never hurts either.

A sign that things, life, will take root, and maybe, just maybe, one day we will begin living with our whole hearts again. That she is living through us, as was so eloquently pointed out to me as I broke down on Thanksgiving after hearing her voice in that of her youngest.

This is a very special plant. A jade that by all family accounts is about 60 years old. Originally owned by her mother in Ft. Lauderdale a piece was carried to Duke University in Durham, NC, I think, by Aunt Jo Ann then up to Washington D.C., where a piece broke off and made its way to Utah, where it grew to fill a huge pot, then lived alone in a ranch in Wyoming while others went to Hawaii, and eventually came back and adopted it once more.

I found this broken piece on the ground of the breezeway on the day that she died. She had meant to give me a piece but it didn’t happen. Or did it?

And so I took it home that day and planted it. And nurtured it. And waited.


Let us learn to appreciate there will be times when the trees will be bare, and look forward to the time when we may pick the fruit.

                                                        –Anton Chekhov

Ya’ll, I am happy to report that for the first time in a long time….I think I may be setting fruit. More later.



Lost in My Mind

IMG_5647Playing catch-up. Always playing catch-up.

How to sum it up to date? Everything seems off. Like life is simultaneously happening at lightening speed as seen in slow motion.

And so a mixtape, per usual, to sum it up. It may not explicitly say FORWARD. But it is there, hidden among the verses. You have to trust me on this one.

There was running, of course, but slower and less consistent then usual. Running nonetheless. And even biking, although that doesn’t have a soundtrack. Drum corps and enthusiasm for annual meetings I have yet to attend. In early spring a sweet wedding in Mexico with a double rainbow, for the sweetest kids, one whom was just a baby when we first met. The one with the singing on the plaza and the fish tacos. Frankly, that one perplexed me the longest and hence the delay. But I figured it out, or at least pushed forward. And, after all, that’s the point of all of this anyway isn’t it? Another wedding, the one with the palm trees and café lights and celebrity attendees, and yet we were all just the same, singing at the top of our lungs to songs we all share as if we went to the same high school.

This was the summer (and spring and winter) of the new car. The one with the satellite radio that seems extravagant yet brings me so much daily joy. Thank you First Wave, for making my commute something to sing about, at the top of my lungs, shades on, sunroof open. There was slow progress made on the Tidy Up. Is it done, I am not sure, but it is close, and there is more space and order than ever. I am open to all that comes from that. That openness allows for reflection. And there is indeed reflection. In the why of it all, in the unfairness of it all, in the high moments and low moments. The lowest of the low. The laughter and joy through the tears. Of the songs without words.

I am ready for something good, I think—-and we’ve made plans for that. A road trip is order, and we’ll be sure to play it, all of it. Shades on, sunroof open, singing at the top of our lungs, moving forward. Watching it all in slow motion.

2015 OLW mixtape

  1. Technologic 4:44 Daft Punk Human After All
  2. Wind It Up 3:10 Gwen Stefani The Sweet Escape
  3. Dance The Night Away 4:23 The Mavericks Definitive Collection
  4. Panic 2:21 The Smiths  The Sound of The Smiths
  5. You’ve Got Time 3:10 Regina Spektor  Orange Is the New Black (Soundtrack)
  6. Turning Japanese 3:46 The Vapors Turning Japanese – Best of the Vapors
  7. 99 Red Balloons 3:51  Nena   99 Luftballons
  8. Heartbeats 2:42  José González  Veneer
  9. The Man Who Can’t Be Moved 4:01 The Script  The Script
  10. The House That Built Me 3:57  Miranda Lambert  Revolution
  11. Somewhere Over the Rainbow 5:12 Israel Kamakawiwo’ole Ka ‘Ano’i
  12. Picture Me 5:18  Yiruma Love Scene (Yiruma Piano Solo)
  13. Your Hand In Mine 8:17 Explosions In the Sky The Earth Is Not a Cold Dead Place
  14. Airstream Song 2:48  Miranda Lambert  Revolution
  15. Lost In My Mind 4:19 The Head and the Heart The Head and the Heart
  16. I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) 3:39  The Proclaimers  Sunshine On Leith
  17. Waves  3:49  The Cruise Slowly Drifting After U


Twenty-fourteen was a fantastic year—perhaps one of the best years of my life. I attribute its success largely to my participation in Ali Edwards’ One Little Word program, which, for the first time in a long time allowed me to really focus my energy into personal, professional, and creative pursuits. My word for the year was MAKE, and make I did. If I were a better blogger you would have seen all the ways in which I incorporated make into my life on a daily basis. Instead you can retrace some of those adventures on my Instagram account if you are into that sort of thing.

I have been implementing a hashtag system to keep track of these various pursuits. All begin with #sotd (Stitch Outside the Ditch/stitchoutsidetheditch). Using hashtags in this way is is a great way for all of us to easily track our activities on the IG. You should try it.

Some of the categories where I “make” are:

  • makemebetter (all the running and water drinking, and homemade lunch eating. This was a HUGE category for me this year #soproud)
  • makesimprovements (on the house)
  • makesquilts (so.many.quilts this year. WIPs and new things. Hopefully I will share some here. Ideally I will share some here.)
  • makesmoney (new job)
  • makeslove (dates, and talks, and quality time with my babe)
  • makesdo (mending clothes rather than buying new, using what I have)
  • makeswhole (getaways with girlfriends and quality time spent with my local peeps)
  • makesjoy (this one really came into play towards the end of the year—more on this later)
  • makesfun (roadtrips and goodtimes. Impulse decisions.)
  • makesnomnomnom (because…food)

IMG_5114Truth be told, as I move into 2015 I am scared. Scared this year won’t be as good as the last. I still need to finish up December and say goodbye to move on from make. As I write this it is February 1 and technically I should have started my word for this year. I have been contemplating FORWARD and seeing how it sits with me. It started speaking to me towards the end of last year. Up until now, I’ve thought— But I need more than doable.

IMG_5107I received a package this week, something unexpected, which, surprisingly, left me pretty flustered. In the last few years and last year in particular I really learned to seek input and support from my friends when I need it (and to give those things in return), and man did I need it. I spent Sunday working in the snow-free and sun-filled yard—something unheard of in February in Salt Lake City; we are normally neck deep in snow and atmospheric inversions. I spent that time thinking about what they wrote to me, and what I need to do to remedy my situation. I started to hatch a plan. In that time I came to the conclusion that yes, now more than ever, I need to move FORWARD. I am also reminded that these words choose me; I don’t choose them. And in that regard forward will do.just.fine.



Wrapping it up.

It’s the end of Summer. The summer with Powell, paddle boarding and slick rock slip-n-slides. The finale of How I Met Your Mother and Jess and Nick finally figuring it out in season two. The summer of the late winter with Angels Landing and crepes so good we had to figure out how to make them at home. And of the spring when I ran away with Lauren and we hit all the Rosses. Where we ate THE Steak and the cheap marinara, and I drank my first cappuccino, which was more dessert than coffee and therefore perfect. The summer of the spring where I could have sauna-ed my life away with cedar and eucalyptus. The spring of Laguna Beach and all the fabric shops with Martha, (and Jane and Carol, and Musa). And of the new job and figuring it out (still figuring it all out). The summer of the real Spring where Megan and Tim tied the knot on that drizzly day in Charleston where the clouds dissipated The spring of wedding and winning mix tapes. The summer of the return trip to Vegas with the umami burger we walked the long way to get and the selfie with my love in front of the fountains. The summer of strengthening friendships and figuring out ways to figure the new things out. The summer we finally kissed the last of the pink goodbye, and maybe I am a bit sorry to see it go, but maybe it just wasn’t the right shade. THE SUMMER OF RUNNING and heat and getting up early to beat it. The summer of discipline. The summer I learned to drink all the water. The unfortunate passing out and in the end, running my own race and winning the medal. All totally worth it.

It was the summer of Making.

Remember, remember.

And a playlist to go along with it all…

  1. Clarity (feat. Foxes) 4:32          Zedd
  2. Harlem Shake 3:17          Baauer
  3. Best Day of My Life 3:14          American Authors
  4. These Are Days 3:43          10,000 Maniacs
  5. Knees Of My Bees 3:41          Alanis Morissette
  6. What Would I Do Without You 2:52          Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors
  7. Take Care 5:48          Beach House
  8. After an Afternoon 3:13          Jason Mraz
  9. Click, Click, Click, Click 3:08          Bishop Allen
  10. Viva Las Vegas 2:27          Elvis Presley & The Jordanaires
  11. Weekend Runaways 3:31          Stacey Earle
  12. Perfect Day 4:48          Holley Maher
  13. Swept Away (Sentimental Version) 4:15                     The Avett Brothers
  14. Details In the Fabric (feat. James Morrison) 5:46 Jason Mraz
  15. You Rock My World (Radio Edit) 4:26          Michael Jackson
  16. Shake It Off 3:39          Taylor Swift
  17. Heaven 4:22          The Walkmen
  18. It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) 4:05 E.M.
  19. Clarity (feat. Foxes) [Tiesto Remix] 5:54          Zedd