Zeitgeber

It is so dark in the mornings. It’s hard to get up. I find myself torn between sleeping in and getting to work later, but then getting home later, or getting up and coming home earlier. I am controlled by the light, the zeitgebers, or “time givers”. Soon, likely it won’t make a difference, with the time change. It will likely be dark at both times. Or will it? I can never remember what happens when we switch the clocks. Fall back. All I know it sends me into a tailspin. Where I try to mentally outwit myself by saying “If I can just make it to the solstice, then the light will start to change again.” It is my flip side.

The seasonal change sends me into a different sort of funk. I recognize that this is my pattern. I went to graduate school in northern Idaho. This Florida girl wasn’t used to the sun going down at 4 in the afternoon. It made me so sleepy. Don’t get me started on the cold. I counteracted by getting a membership to the local tanning salon. The warmth felt so good on my skin. I was likely the only college student in Moscow not working on my spring break tan.

As part of establishing my One Little Word intentions in January of this year, I committed to  the following:

“Learn a better way to cope with the things that unbalance you…changes in the daylight associated with the time change (autumn).”

Now is the time to act.

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One thought on “Zeitgeber

  1. There is comfort in knowing that I am not alone in focusing on the solstice and the gift of more light in the day. At the same time I am acutely aware of not wanting to wish my days away and be so focused on the 21st that I miss things around me in the moment. So as the days continue to shorten I look for the interesting light and shadows that are created by the change in the sun in relation to the horizon (I know there is a more technical term for that but it escapes me) and Trish in those moments as gifts I wouldn’t see in summer. I do that while trying to relax my shoulders because good grief they start to raise to my ears about this time. It’s the dampness here by the “Great Lakes”. To the bones chill. Now to wrap my head around that!

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