Choose your words wisely.

courthouse steps

I started today with the thought that I would post something for Wordless Wednesday. As the day wore on and I have seen the multitude of pictures of people arriving in Austin, Texas for QuiltCon, I thought about writing how I feel like the only person not going. Now, alas, here I sit writing about something entirely different.

So much of what we see and read on the Internet, or blogs in particular, is sanitized, I think. I don’t mean the people who “clean up” before they photograph something. I mean that it can be difficult to find blogs that write about hard things, honest things. Maybe because those things are hard to write about. Many blogs would have us believe that the world is all rainbows and unicorns, when we know those things are really rare. Besides, those close to me know I am not a huge fan of rainbows, at least of the quilted variety. Although I do love a good real rainbow.

I (mostly) completed the January prompt for my One Little Word FORWARD this weekend and I wrote three things down which sort of hit me in the face like a 2×4 tonight. It is these kinds of ah-ha moments that make me realize that despite my unsure-ness (is that even a word) with my word choice for this year, I am right where I need to be. Settling into it, and that feels really awesome.

So what did I commit to?

MORE: blogging—LESS: thoughts left in my head. (YOU ARE HERE)

MORE: saying what I need—LESS: saying yes so as to not disappoint.

And, as part of the answer to “What do I fear most in 2015?” I wrote—“I fear the fallout that comes with saying hard things.”

And so I sit here (writing—already making progress) contemplating the question, as I often do—Who reads what I write in this space? Does it matter what I write? Who reads any space? Why do we filter? What are we afraid of? Why do we live in a society where we tiptoe around each other, trying not to upset people? Or is that just me? It can’t be just me because I know others who do it too (the tiptoeing, not necessarily the contemplating).

I had a brief conversation with someone today and the reality of the words that were said stung (or rather, that were not even spoken but that I figured out).

They were upsetting. And totally true.

I got mad. And the only person I really have to be mad at is myself.

I am reminded, as I frequently am, that if you want to see a change you have to make a change.

Noted.

Fortunately, tomorrow, we all get a second chance.

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9 thoughts on “Choose your words wisely.

  1. OMG how did you get into my head and read my thoughts/contemplations! Now there is two of us ….. and, probably millions more going through the same processes.
    Isn’t it nice to know then that we are normal-ish LOL.

  2. Change happens when change happens. What a fucking bitch that is! Not when I complain, or procrastinate, or sit comfortably on my shit pile. Timely post for me, honeyheart-thank you!

  3. im reading!!
    and i would like to know how everyone affords quiltcon (etc to other big gatherings and sew-ins)? i love quilting just as much as A,B, and C…but man alive….the idea of flights, food, and child care issues…i cant fathom making the trip!

    • I don’t know how they afford it either. People may gove me shit, or think less of my quilts because they use older fabric, but frankly I can’t afford (or rather I can afford, but can’t justify paying for it) the fabric. I’m in a use what I have mode for the most part and it is truly liberating. Still–Pasadena with Gwenny net year. I will likely make the trip.

  4. Watching Instagram has been a bit depressing lately. All the “cool kids” are hanging out at quilt con, while I sit at home. It does also make me worry about the commercialization of the quilt world, especially with quilt con moving to every year.

    It seems like there is often one brave person who comes out and says the hard things, and some people will disagree and shame that person, but there will be many others that breathe a great sigh of relief and thank them for voicing the secret thoughts in their own heads.

    • Watching IG in general can be depressing. Such competitions. I really have to focus. I hear ya on the commercialization. It is insane and I used to work in the industry. One of the saddest parts for me is that companies are getting the benefit of free publicity and people are doing the marketing just by shopping and bragging. It makes the value of what others do seem trivialized to a certain extent.

      We must all continue to say the hard things, to challenge the norm. (stitchoutsidetheditch :)) Otherwise we get a distilled sense for what quilting (for example) is all about. We are not alone.

  5. Well said! And as you have stated be prepared for the fallout of your opening up and being honest… sometimes the truth hurts.

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